10 Thruths about stepparents & stepchildren

Since 2 years I have a new partner. I was separated from the father of my daughter for about 4 years, when I met him. Since the day we met online, we knew it would be forever. So we took it extremely slowly with my girl. After a few months of just hanging out the 3 of us, she decided we should all fall in love and be together. That is also when we officially became partners in her eyes.

A few months later she had to change school, and since we would have to move to put her in a school that was right for her, it was only logic to move in together. So about 2 years later now, we are in our second house, and there was the glue to tie us all together; another baby.

Here are 10 things about stepparents/stepchildren / stepfamilies

  1. We all have different last names
  2. As a stepparent you will never be as amazing, strong, pretty, smart or funny as their real parent. I must say it also depends on their age. In the beginning her father was in everything better then her step dad. But now with age, she is realizing that as cool as her dad may be, her step dad (in our case) is the one that is being a real dad, raising her, taking her to school, knows all her friends etc.
  3. In every argument the sentence “you are not even my real dad”will come up. Hurtful.
  4. Jealousy; from the kid to the new partner, and from the partner to the biological parent, and from the kid to new siblings. In our case my oldest daughter is jealous of my partner, and her baby sister. Understandable, as she is no longer the baby, and worried her stepdad might love his biological baby more then her.
  5. People are always comparing you with your parents, so its funny when we hear how much character wise, they always say she must take after her (step) dad. In reality we all have very similar characters, making it easy to look like each other.
  6. As a stepparent you always have to work and try a little harder.
  7. As a stepdad you have all numbers against you. Just watch a random show on Dr Phill, and you might reconsider even being in the same room as your stepdaughter. Already you are a lot more careful around the stepdaughter, just because of the numbers of boyfriends that abuse the children of their girlfriends. But just because it happens a lot, doesn’t mean that all stepfathers are idiots. In my humble opinion, its usually the mother her fault if something happens. How often don’t you hear that they were so in love, and didn’t want to loose him, or hurt his feelings.
  8. Child comes first. The child is the most important here, they never asked for this situation, and as a mother you should always believe your child over your new partner. Of course, in most situations you know very well who is telling the truth, and just as real parents, you should fight each other in front of the kids, and you should have each others back. Just in certain situations, make sure your kid is always 1000% sure it can trust you no matter what. Even if its against the new partner.
  9. No as a stepdaughter you are not really Cinderella, you have to clean behind your butt just as much as anyone else in this household. There is also not a carriage waiting outside, or fairies that make your dresses. In general the fairies in this house are called mom and dad.
  10. From a child point of view it can be very beneficial; extra family to love, more presents, more pocket money and people generally working harder to make sure they don’t feel left out.
10 truths about patchwork families – stepfamily and half sibblings

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